Negativity bias is the human tendency to look at a vast landscape of stuff that is just fine, good even, and find the one thing that is flawed. The tendency to obsess about that thing to the exclusion of all the good things. And it makes sense, right? From an evolutionary perspective, the things that are fine and good are unlikely to kill us and keep us from reproducing, so it’s the bad thing that needs our attention. But of course we are not giraffes on the savannah (most of us, anyway), we are humans trying to live happier lives. We have the power to decide what we will focus our attention on, and the more we notice and give attention to the good aspects of our lives, the less likely we are to kill ourselves with alcohol, nicotine, and carbs – and the more likely we are to reproduce, right? Winning!

Correcting my inherent negativity bias has been enormously helpful for my mental health. After meditation, it’s probably the second most helpful thing I do. I do this through journaling. Now, I journal because I’ve always been someone who makes meaning through writing, so it’s a natural fit for me to reflect on the day/week/month by writing things down. For people who aren’t fluent when they write, they might find that a conversation with a partner or their child is the best route. Then you get a two-fer – you can both talk about the things you discover to be grateful for. Double winning! Any way you do it is the right way. If you have other gratitude practices to share, please comment. 

I started gratitude journaling because a thoughtful person gave me a gift of one about 4 years ago. I found it so helpful, I now make them a regular gift to people in my life. But the things I was grateful for got too big to fit in the confines of the journal, so I moved it to Google Drive and now keep an electronic journal that I can modify whenever I land on helpful new practices or goals I want to track. 

In the morning, I write down:

• All the big things I’m grateful for. Health, wealth, the safety of my loved ones. The list started with 3 things daily, and now, 4 years later, it’s 15 items long every day.
• Something new I’m grateful for.
• Values to focus on – this arose from 12-step work on character defects – how do I want to live today? If I’m stressed about stuff at work, it’s usually that I want to be brave and fearless, instead of anxious and fearful, for instance. If I’m having an interpersonal struggle, I’ll aim for patient, compassionate, and kind.
• What will I do to earn my good fortune? – This is a key question for me. Looking at my 15 things to be grateful for, I am overwhelmed with my privileges, and most people aren’t so fortunate. What will I do to be worthy of having half so many gifts? Usually this will include setting an intention to, in some specific way, be better today than yesterday. 
• Passion project goals – These days, it’s what I want to accomplish on my blog.

Lots of times, I’ve gotten to the end of a chaotic or difficult day and felt totally drained, and maybe even that nothing good happened that day. Sometimes, I’ve had a great day overall, then got b!tchslapped over email by the Culture Adventure manager at 4:45, and I go into a spiral. My reflection at the end of the day has this intended effect all of the time: Helping me find happy little nuggets that make me realize this day wasn’t so bad after all. I write down:

• As many awesome things that happened as I can think of. I can usually find at least 8-10. This can include cuddles with the cat, and not drinking, every day. Bonus points for not smoking. If something is extra-great, time with a friend, for instance, I will add it to my “awesome things this week” list. 
• An “AEIOU” breakdown – got this from 12-step too. I’m looking for:
  • Abstinence – Did I refrain from my target behavior today?
  • Exercise
  • I – Did I work on myself today?
  • Others – Did I perform acts of service for others today? (to be perfectly honest, other than petting the cat, which is for me as much as for him, my answer to this is usually no. Work in progress)
  • Unresolved – What issues will carry on over to tomorrow?
• I have one day less to live. How do I rate it?
• What did I do today to earn my good fortune?
• What did I do on my passion project goals? What are tomorrow’s practical goals?

When I’m really charging hard, I will also sit for 10 minutes and just write, anything that comes to mind. I have really fallen away from this, but will still do this to work through a problem if I need to – interpersonal conflicts, work issues, getting myself into a better headspace about a problem, whatever I need right then. 

Reflection points as the days pile up are important too. At the end of every week, I look back:

• As mentioned above, when something extra-cool happens, I will add it to my week reflection when I write every day. By the end of the week, I’ve often got 5-12 awesome things. 
• I have one week less to live. How do I feel about how I spent my time? What do I want to do differently?
• Next week’s focus: How do I want to be for the week ahead?
• 3 Goals for next week – usually these are personal growth focused, not a to-do list.
• Passion project goals for the coming week. This is more task-oriented.

At the end of the month, I use a reflection that mirrors the weekly one, with the addition of some thinking about lessons I’ve learned, and how I’ve grown and changed over the past month. Some of this I’ve adapted from Passion Planner, a great journal for maintaining personal growth and keeping momentum on the projects that bring purpose to your life. As you can imagine, I use a similar reflection at the end of the year.

You know, journaling has become such an integrated part of my life that I didn’t realize until writing this how elaborate my practice is. This is really a lot! If you start small, with just 3 good things, you can start to counter negativity bias and find things to celebrate on even difficult days. As you add on helpful things, your positivity and gratitude practice can extend organically into the directions you need. It’s good for your mental health, and it’s good for sustaining personal growth – you can even say spiritual growth. Many days, I’ve sat down glum and resentful and thinking I won’t find anything good to say, and gotten up 5 minutes later uplifted by the realization of all the good things that did actually happen, or by my gratitude for all the problems I don’t have. Sometimes we have to look harder for the good stuff, but it’s usually there, much to our relief. Triple winning!